Psalm 19:1-4, "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world."
Romans 1:20 says it another way, "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-His eternal power and Divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."
In youth group someone once sang a song called "Silent Friendship". I thought of my high school best friend and that we indeed had a silent friendship where there could be comfort in the silence and not that awkward need for words to fill the air. The evidence of friendship was still present. Now granted, there are times when words must be spoken as we are called to walk alongside our friends calling them to authentic relationship with God, with us, with others...to rebuke, encourage, love them.
And I think back to this Psalm and my own feelings of the evidence of God as I stand in His nature. Dr. Constable describes: "the presence of the heavenly host is a non-verbal testimony of God's existence that reaches every part of the planet-everyone, regardless of his or her language, can understand," and referring to this "wordless speech". For sure there are times when we need to cry out all the grace and mercy God has shown us and the Bible tells us if we do not cry out that, indeed, the rocks will (Luke 19:40). And we need to use our words to talk to our Abba Father. But there are times, when we don't have the words...when our hurt is so deep that the words won't come. When we can sit in our silent friendship with our Creator and the Holy Spirit intercedes in groans for us.
I dearly love my high school best friend and the comfort of her silent friendship back then. It hit me that as much as I loved this earlthy relationship there is another silent friendship that was always there with me and will always be with me. His love never fails. And when I get faint, all I have to do is look up and see the evidence of His unfailing love.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Parallel Lines
Psalm 18:32, "It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect."
David had many successes...as a shepherd boy, as a man after God's heart, as king. He also knew failure. He knew where his successes came from...God and He gave God the credit knowing that in his own strength, the victory is not so sure.
I think if you looked back, you could see a mess of parallel lines. Straight paths of God walking beside His anointed, then whoa, David goes off and has a weak moment and takes a woman that is not his to have. The line goes down...and God's line goes down to meet Him. "Walk with me," He might say and their lines are parallel again...God rescuing, building his kingdom for his descendents (His own Son). Oh that flesh, David kills Uriah to cover his infidelity and the line dips...and God pursues until David meets Him again and their lines go parallel.
A mighty mess of lines as he fails to parent out of his own weakness, then he meets His Lord again. He has much to be thankful for and much to praise God about. We hear Jesus explain it as well, "Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven-as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little." (Luke 7:47) If, like me, you have been forgiven much, there is abundant praise for His mercy.
My lines are a lot like David's. The parallel times are so sweet. Many times I go off on my own, either subcoming to my flesh or when life just hands you some lemons. I've learned from experience that walking with Him in those times is what arms me with strength to get through; and when I walk with Him, He makes my way perfect...even when life isn't. And always, to Him goes the glory.
David had many successes...as a shepherd boy, as a man after God's heart, as king. He also knew failure. He knew where his successes came from...God and He gave God the credit knowing that in his own strength, the victory is not so sure.
I think if you looked back, you could see a mess of parallel lines. Straight paths of God walking beside His anointed, then whoa, David goes off and has a weak moment and takes a woman that is not his to have. The line goes down...and God's line goes down to meet Him. "Walk with me," He might say and their lines are parallel again...God rescuing, building his kingdom for his descendents (His own Son). Oh that flesh, David kills Uriah to cover his infidelity and the line dips...and God pursues until David meets Him again and their lines go parallel.
A mighty mess of lines as he fails to parent out of his own weakness, then he meets His Lord again. He has much to be thankful for and much to praise God about. We hear Jesus explain it as well, "Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven-as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little." (Luke 7:47) If, like me, you have been forgiven much, there is abundant praise for His mercy.
My lines are a lot like David's. The parallel times are so sweet. Many times I go off on my own, either subcoming to my flesh or when life just hands you some lemons. I've learned from experience that walking with Him in those times is what arms me with strength to get through; and when I walk with Him, He makes my way perfect...even when life isn't. And always, to Him goes the glory.
Friday, January 27, 2017
Three small words
Psalm 18:1, "I love You, O Lord, my strength."
We all show our love in different ways...we have our own love languages (The Five Love Languages...an interesting read to try to understand the love languages of your loved ones as well as your own). My own love language is touch. I reach out to touch people on the arm when I talk to them...it drives my daughters crazy. I know my family's as well and try to honor them. But there is no substitute for hearing those simple words, "I love you"
I knew I was loved growing up, but I didn't hear those words much. The first time I remember hearing it (and understanding that my experience was not the norm) was from a person I didn't even know well. We were in Colorado and she was struggling. I sat and just listened. I wasn't even a teenager, so there was no wise words to be sure. But as she left, she just gave me a hug and said, "I love you." I had no idea what to even do with it. I hadn't even heard it from those who "had" to love me...to hear it expressed by a near stranger as gratitude overwhelmed and it was a game changer for me. I remember being even younger and my wonderful, godly, loving (no adjectives to describe her adequately) grandmother would call and I feared getting on the phone because SHE had no problem expressing her love and I, not having heard it a lot, cringed because I knew I had to say it back to her and it sounded so odd coming out of my mouth. As I type this the realization that these people were gifts from God, His angels, to show me what I needed to learn. So I began testing it out...radical, right?! Express my love (like I was waiting that someone had to say it first, idk...)
We all show our love in different ways...we have our own love languages (The Five Love Languages...an interesting read to try to understand the love languages of your loved ones as well as your own). My own love language is touch. I reach out to touch people on the arm when I talk to them...it drives my daughters crazy. I know my family's as well and try to honor them. But there is no substitute for hearing those simple words, "I love you"
I knew I was loved growing up, but I didn't hear those words much. The first time I remember hearing it (and understanding that my experience was not the norm) was from a person I didn't even know well. We were in Colorado and she was struggling. I sat and just listened. I wasn't even a teenager, so there was no wise words to be sure. But as she left, she just gave me a hug and said, "I love you." I had no idea what to even do with it. I hadn't even heard it from those who "had" to love me...to hear it expressed by a near stranger as gratitude overwhelmed and it was a game changer for me. I remember being even younger and my wonderful, godly, loving (no adjectives to describe her adequately) grandmother would call and I feared getting on the phone because SHE had no problem expressing her love and I, not having heard it a lot, cringed because I knew I had to say it back to her and it sounded so odd coming out of my mouth. As I type this the realization that these people were gifts from God, His angels, to show me what I needed to learn. So I began testing it out...radical, right?! Express my love (like I was waiting that someone had to say it first, idk...)
There's no huge mystery here. ANYTIME you love, it does not come back void. Isaiah 55:11 tells us, "so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." God gave us His greatest love, His Son "This is my son, whom I love, listen to Him. (Mark 9:7)" He gave us His greatest love manual, His Word in which He tells us" I have loved you with an everlasting love" Jeremiah 31:3. You may not see the rewards in this lifetime, but it is NEVER wasted. God loves us with an everlasting love...ALL OF US...He pursues and pursues and pursues...and the return is not always immediate (2 Peter 3:9). Our greatest joy should be to tell those we love, "I love you" expecting nothing in return...a gift with no strings. It's our greatest gift from God.
What struck me with David is how little I actually just tell God, "I love you" and how He probably longs to hear and feel that love as we do. Three little words with so much power. Shout it from the mountaintops, but also whisper it in His ear when you spend time with Him. Game changer.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
You tough enough?
Psalm 17:8, "Keep me as the apple of Your eye; hide me inthe shadow of Your wings."
Dr. Constable tells us that the "apple of the eye" is the pupil. David's request was that God keep him in the center of His vision and not let him out of His sight. God's wings, Dr. Constable continues, are the spreadings (manifestations) of His love and His taking us under His wing shows intimate fellowship with Him while hiding in the shadows of His wings offers us rest and security.
They are such beautiful images and such a sweet request. I mean David was "big tough guy" in the eyes of so many. He slew Goliath. He conquered armies. But in the heart of this warrior was a tender request, keep me in Your vision, protect me and give me rest. He knew where his source of strength came from. He wasn't puffed up that any of his righteousness and prowess was from his own power...it was from God; and man, he just wanted to be able to rest there and linger in that fellowship. Often described as "a man after God's own heart", it is a pretty cool insight that God too wants this...He wants us to keep Him as the center of our vision, to never lose sight of Him. The ALMIGHTY wants us to have intimate fellowship with Him and come rest in Him. The perfect Father wants us to siddle up to Him, wrap His arm around us and let our hearts be soaked in that comfort of unconditional love so that we can go out into the world and be strong.
Dr. Constable tells us that the "apple of the eye" is the pupil. David's request was that God keep him in the center of His vision and not let him out of His sight. God's wings, Dr. Constable continues, are the spreadings (manifestations) of His love and His taking us under His wing shows intimate fellowship with Him while hiding in the shadows of His wings offers us rest and security.
They are such beautiful images and such a sweet request. I mean David was "big tough guy" in the eyes of so many. He slew Goliath. He conquered armies. But in the heart of this warrior was a tender request, keep me in Your vision, protect me and give me rest. He knew where his source of strength came from. He wasn't puffed up that any of his righteousness and prowess was from his own power...it was from God; and man, he just wanted to be able to rest there and linger in that fellowship. Often described as "a man after God's own heart", it is a pretty cool insight that God too wants this...He wants us to keep Him as the center of our vision, to never lose sight of Him. The ALMIGHTY wants us to have intimate fellowship with Him and come rest in Him. The perfect Father wants us to siddle up to Him, wrap His arm around us and let our hearts be soaked in that comfort of unconditional love so that we can go out into the world and be strong.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Ain't gettin' old grand?!
Psalm 16:8, " I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."
Getting old is really the lesser of the whole. Indeed with age comes a wisdom I would not replace and I have NEVER wanted to go back. But the older, I get the less I care what others think. This was a pretty small well in the first place. I learned early on that there were always haters and you cannot make everyone happy...this is especially true if you are giving up part of yourself to please them.
The greater half of the whole is that I have learned to trust in the Lord more and more. Oddly (???...not so much in God's economy), I learned most of this trust in the hardships of life...When God stripped me of everything I took pride in and He was all I had. I learned to trust that with Him by my side, I really can and do have the strength to get through the storm and that He will always be "More than Enough"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhFUUPwNa7c
Getting old is really the lesser of the whole. Indeed with age comes a wisdom I would not replace and I have NEVER wanted to go back. But the older, I get the less I care what others think. This was a pretty small well in the first place. I learned early on that there were always haters and you cannot make everyone happy...this is especially true if you are giving up part of yourself to please them.
The greater half of the whole is that I have learned to trust in the Lord more and more. Oddly (???...not so much in God's economy), I learned most of this trust in the hardships of life...When God stripped me of everything I took pride in and He was all I had. I learned to trust that with Him by my side, I really can and do have the strength to get through the storm and that He will always be "More than Enough"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhFUUPwNa7c
Saturday, January 21, 2017
As for me and my house
Psalm 14:7, "Oh, that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion! When the Lord restores the fortunes of His people, let Jacob rejoice and Israel be glad!"
So, yesterday was a day. The 45 president was inaugurated. For the first time, I was able to stream the event live and actually see the happenings and the swearing in of both the vice president as well as the president. As a history teacher, I wanted my students to see the swearing in...the event itself...what it has looked like since 1789 when Washington took the oath. I wasn't pro any party. That part is easy for me. I grew up in a house divided which was quite the joke around election time...my dad a republican and my mom a democrat and they went together to vote their voice (and "cancel out each other's votes"). It was this way until he died...and yet, they were crazy in love with each other. So the whole hatred thing is bizarre, ugly, weird and sad to watch. The kids didn't see this on the stream, but, WOW, some of it came out of their mouths and I was deeply saddened for them. It was also just reaffirmation that hatred is indeed taught at home. We have to have a rule that no political talk is allowed in our classrooms (they are 10 and 11 yo). I have morphed in my beliefs from childhood to adult but am ever so thankful that I was able to do so under an umbrella of love set by the example of my parents. I hope the same will happen for them as they make their beliefs their own.
Once the swearing in was over, the live streaming in my room stopped and life went on...they actually had to take a test that day...the 6th grade on ancient India and the 5th on the struggle for freedom. I drove home from school thinking, "the stop lights are working just like they did before the swearing in, my car is still driving, businesses are going about their business" Nothing changed...OH YEAH, GOD IS STILL IN CHARGE.
Then I made a big mistake and got on facebook to see the news live streaming protests. "Oh that salvation would come out of Zion...and the Lord would restore the fortunes of His people..." Dr. Constable said, "the intent of Psalm 14 is to counter the temptation that humankind can manage the world in ways better than Yahweh's way" and David was confident God would deliver and restore. The U.S. is not mentioned in the end times as the center of anything...sometimes I think we need to get over ourselves a little (we all do individually). God searches from Heaven "to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God." (v. 2). I don't know if I can change the world...but I can change my house. I will teach that we can have differences, but still love (or at least get along). "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)
So, yesterday was a day. The 45 president was inaugurated. For the first time, I was able to stream the event live and actually see the happenings and the swearing in of both the vice president as well as the president. As a history teacher, I wanted my students to see the swearing in...the event itself...what it has looked like since 1789 when Washington took the oath. I wasn't pro any party. That part is easy for me. I grew up in a house divided which was quite the joke around election time...my dad a republican and my mom a democrat and they went together to vote their voice (and "cancel out each other's votes"). It was this way until he died...and yet, they were crazy in love with each other. So the whole hatred thing is bizarre, ugly, weird and sad to watch. The kids didn't see this on the stream, but, WOW, some of it came out of their mouths and I was deeply saddened for them. It was also just reaffirmation that hatred is indeed taught at home. We have to have a rule that no political talk is allowed in our classrooms (they are 10 and 11 yo). I have morphed in my beliefs from childhood to adult but am ever so thankful that I was able to do so under an umbrella of love set by the example of my parents. I hope the same will happen for them as they make their beliefs their own.
Once the swearing in was over, the live streaming in my room stopped and life went on...they actually had to take a test that day...the 6th grade on ancient India and the 5th on the struggle for freedom. I drove home from school thinking, "the stop lights are working just like they did before the swearing in, my car is still driving, businesses are going about their business" Nothing changed...OH YEAH, GOD IS STILL IN CHARGE.
Then I made a big mistake and got on facebook to see the news live streaming protests. "Oh that salvation would come out of Zion...and the Lord would restore the fortunes of His people..." Dr. Constable said, "the intent of Psalm 14 is to counter the temptation that humankind can manage the world in ways better than Yahweh's way" and David was confident God would deliver and restore. The U.S. is not mentioned in the end times as the center of anything...sometimes I think we need to get over ourselves a little (we all do individually). God searches from Heaven "to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God." (v. 2). I don't know if I can change the world...but I can change my house. I will teach that we can have differences, but still love (or at least get along). "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)
Friday, January 20, 2017
Laying my Isaac Down
Psalm 13:2, "How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?"
It's an earthly saying, but it goes: "You're only as happy as your least happy child." (Phillip Larkin). And if you live by worldly standards, it's pretty true. And some days it is true, regardless. I can only speak to the momma side, but I can imagine the same is true on the dad side. Your lives become very intertangled with your child's life. For momma, maybe it's that blending of flesh from the beginning. I use to hate being a girl. I am a tomboy still today. I don't really enjoy cooking...I do it and sometimes it even turns out okay, but baking is not my joy. I Hate shopping (capital H intended). There's way too much drama with girls, so I use to rather hang with the guys. Then I became pregnant and realized how amazing being a woman is. To be a part of creating life, to feel it grow and move inside of you is one of the most indescrible pleasures of life. I also went on a hike one time with a bunch of ladies that were older than me (my own mother's age). I didn't talk much, but listened a lot and fell in love with being a woman and hearing their common stories and the way they bonded and cherished and built each other up. Okay, so the monthly periods are a MAJOR drag; but the good far outweighs the bad. And I'm sure there are guys out there that don't enjoy being "mr. fix-it" either...so our worlds aren't so different.
The flip side: this love that knows no bounds, also knows sorrow. When your kids hurt, you hurt along with them...physically...your heart hurts. Seeing them make their own adult bad choices in PAINful. My biggest ache comes from knowing that at this point, today, my son will not see eternity, but spend his time after death in absolute aloneness...it's a physical hurt in my heart. And I get why David sings, "How long....how long must I have this sorrow in my heart?"
But, there's a daily choice I have to make. A wise woman, having walked in my shoes, suggested reading Laying my Isaac Down about Abraham's faith in God to provide and having to lay our own Isaac's down (it doesn't have to be a child, but that thing you are holding on to and maybe keeping control of instead of opening your hand and holding it loosely so God can have the control). It's a hard story to read in the Bible, right up to the moment the lamb appears. I imagine Abraham's heart walking up the mount, and his son's. My two favorite words...BUT GOD. I have to choose to say, "But God" everyday and choose happiness and trust...deep in my heart already knowing that every person has to work out their salvation and God has heard my cries (and that my son may very well have to hit his bottom before he looks up). When my son comes to his faith, it will be his own (I said "when" not "if")
So, "how long?" must I have sorrow...well, only as long as I hold on to it and don't lay it down.
It's an earthly saying, but it goes: "You're only as happy as your least happy child." (Phillip Larkin). And if you live by worldly standards, it's pretty true. And some days it is true, regardless. I can only speak to the momma side, but I can imagine the same is true on the dad side. Your lives become very intertangled with your child's life. For momma, maybe it's that blending of flesh from the beginning. I use to hate being a girl. I am a tomboy still today. I don't really enjoy cooking...I do it and sometimes it even turns out okay, but baking is not my joy. I Hate shopping (capital H intended). There's way too much drama with girls, so I use to rather hang with the guys. Then I became pregnant and realized how amazing being a woman is. To be a part of creating life, to feel it grow and move inside of you is one of the most indescrible pleasures of life. I also went on a hike one time with a bunch of ladies that were older than me (my own mother's age). I didn't talk much, but listened a lot and fell in love with being a woman and hearing their common stories and the way they bonded and cherished and built each other up. Okay, so the monthly periods are a MAJOR drag; but the good far outweighs the bad. And I'm sure there are guys out there that don't enjoy being "mr. fix-it" either...so our worlds aren't so different.
The flip side: this love that knows no bounds, also knows sorrow. When your kids hurt, you hurt along with them...physically...your heart hurts. Seeing them make their own adult bad choices in PAINful. My biggest ache comes from knowing that at this point, today, my son will not see eternity, but spend his time after death in absolute aloneness...it's a physical hurt in my heart. And I get why David sings, "How long....how long must I have this sorrow in my heart?"
But, there's a daily choice I have to make. A wise woman, having walked in my shoes, suggested reading Laying my Isaac Down about Abraham's faith in God to provide and having to lay our own Isaac's down (it doesn't have to be a child, but that thing you are holding on to and maybe keeping control of instead of opening your hand and holding it loosely so God can have the control). It's a hard story to read in the Bible, right up to the moment the lamb appears. I imagine Abraham's heart walking up the mount, and his son's. My two favorite words...BUT GOD. I have to choose to say, "But God" everyday and choose happiness and trust...deep in my heart already knowing that every person has to work out their salvation and God has heard my cries (and that my son may very well have to hit his bottom before he looks up). When my son comes to his faith, it will be his own (I said "when" not "if")
So, "how long?" must I have sorrow...well, only as long as I hold on to it and don't lay it down.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
There's beauty in the ashes
Psalm 12:6, "And the words of the Lord are flawless, like silver refined in a furnace of clay, purified seven times."
Moving to Dallas when you're twelve was not easy. In St. Louis, I had friends and think I would have been considered "popular". I came to Dallas and knew one person who was an acquantaince. And unlike anything I had experienced before, there was tremendous judgement here...what you wore, how you looked became of paramount importance. Later, I clued in that it also has to do with perceived status and perceived money. So, I became an object of bullying. Really, by just two girls. To the other "popular" people, I was just invisible. These two girls, however, were mean every day. And whatever words they used then, even though I don't remember them now, have made them part of why I remember them and the not so kind feelings lie beneath if I let them have the space in my head.
BUT....two favorite words in the Bible..."But God". But God wooed me and soon encircled me with friends from band and church. When I was 16, I invited Christ into my heart and now I had Words that were flawless that told me God's truth about who I was so as not to be defined by words from people that didn't even know me. God's truth to us all is, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (ps. 139: 14) The beautiful thing is, He has Words for everything so whatever situation you find yourself in, His words are perfect. They find your heart. But, it's a daily choice you have to make. Do I look to the flawless Word of the Lord and listen to Him or am I going to listen to the world?
When I find myself in a tough spot or thinking "why?" I look to His refined, pure Word (2 Tim. 3: 16-17) and realize there is refining going on. Those unkind words WAY back then have made me compassionate, help me defend the underdog and find my identity in Him rather than being sucked into something of this world. "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland?" (Isaiah 43:19) His flawless Words refined me. I get to call myself, no matter what the world calls me, "Holy, Righteous and Redeemed." From these ashes, He made beauty in Him.
Moving to Dallas when you're twelve was not easy. In St. Louis, I had friends and think I would have been considered "popular". I came to Dallas and knew one person who was an acquantaince. And unlike anything I had experienced before, there was tremendous judgement here...what you wore, how you looked became of paramount importance. Later, I clued in that it also has to do with perceived status and perceived money. So, I became an object of bullying. Really, by just two girls. To the other "popular" people, I was just invisible. These two girls, however, were mean every day. And whatever words they used then, even though I don't remember them now, have made them part of why I remember them and the not so kind feelings lie beneath if I let them have the space in my head.
BUT....two favorite words in the Bible..."But God". But God wooed me and soon encircled me with friends from band and church. When I was 16, I invited Christ into my heart and now I had Words that were flawless that told me God's truth about who I was so as not to be defined by words from people that didn't even know me. God's truth to us all is, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (ps. 139: 14) The beautiful thing is, He has Words for everything so whatever situation you find yourself in, His words are perfect. They find your heart. But, it's a daily choice you have to make. Do I look to the flawless Word of the Lord and listen to Him or am I going to listen to the world?
When I find myself in a tough spot or thinking "why?" I look to His refined, pure Word (2 Tim. 3: 16-17) and realize there is refining going on. Those unkind words WAY back then have made me compassionate, help me defend the underdog and find my identity in Him rather than being sucked into something of this world. "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland?" (Isaiah 43:19) His flawless Words refined me. I get to call myself, no matter what the world calls me, "Holy, Righteous and Redeemed." From these ashes, He made beauty in Him.
Monday, January 16, 2017
"Shake it off, shake it off"
Psalm 11:3, "When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?"
David was fleeing and his enemies were attacking him. Those who counseled him were freaking out thinking the foundations of the Mosaic Law and the institution of Judaism were being shaken. As Dr. Constable put it...they were distressed to the point of distraction. Man, did that hit a nerve...that "ME TOO" moment of connection you have with someone.
It's that bump in the road and all the sudden you are incapable of functioning because it has knocked your feet out from under you. You're Henny Penny yelling, "The sky is falling!" For me, it's that email or comment from someone (they may not even be someone whose opinion I value) and all the sudden I'm hyper focused on what I'd say ('specially in a dark alley) or what I wished upon them often calling down imprecatory prayers just as David does in Psalm 11. I can't focus on the work sitting on my desk, on my list of to-dos, on the people in my life that I love and deserve the best of me. Or, this week, it's a yucky task that is looming on my calendar and everything else fades away as the very thing I am dreading I have allowed to be center stage in my life...letting the yuck rent space in my head. Ugh this flesh.
Wiersbe commented, "God sometimes 'shakes things' so that His people will work on building the church and not focus on maintaining the scaffolding." Okay, so I'm a work in progress (Phil. 1:6, "Being confident in this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on until the day of Christ Jesus.") David, in all of his fleeing, sought refuge in his stronghold, the Lord. When his counselors suggested going to a physical stronghold, he refused. Robert Frost wrote, "...and miles to go before I sleep" So, I sit here trying to hold that thought captive to the TRUTH that "The Lord is in His holy temple; the Lord is on His heavenly throne, He observes the sons of men; His eyes examine them....For the Lord is righteous, He loves justice; upright men will see His face. (Psalm 11: 4,7)" Then I try to "shake it off, shake it off" keeping my eyes and mind on things above knocking out these miles to go before I sleep and rest in Him.
Sunday, January 15, 2017
"Just a closer walk with Thee"
Psalm 10:1, "Why, O Lord, do You stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble."
2010-2014 were some of the worst years of my life...to date. There has been much that has been said about our plans for our life versus God's and our timing verses His own (wordly and biblically). We're all in a valley, just got out of one, or about to hit one. It's just life. In these years: I had a son wrestling with drugs (marijuana his drug of choice), a daughter dabbling in drinking; a daughter who was diagnosed with Mosaiac Turner's Syndrome, and my marriage and blended family was a MESS (at one point looking like I might be a single parent again) from all of the above. To ice this nastiness, I dealt with shame from a divorce and the loss of a loved person in my life. This period of time was "THE WORST". I literally sat in my car screaming at God that I could take no more. I contacted my doctor about getting on anti-depressants because I could not deal. Let me tell you about God's timing here...He, in His abundant wisdom, made going to the doctor unavailable until a couple months later (I could not take off any time to go see the doctor, because I was using short term disability to take my daughter to In Patient Treatment during work hours). In those two months, He was amazing...repeatedly showing up when I was barely hanging on, showing me that HE was all I needed. He might have stood "far off" because He was waiting for me to turn to Him. Want crazy?! I wouldn't trade a single moment of any of that if it meant I had to give up God or turn away. So, I buckle up...knowing a storm will come my way...bring it on, satan, cause I am here to tell you I will HOLD FAST...your tricks have failed from the get go, and tiny, little man...they FAIL (epically) in the end (John 16:33...hello life verse).
My boy, David...a man after God's heart and a heart like my own. He loved God so much, he took his mess to him and cried out "WHY?!" I'd be inclined to think one a liar who didn't at least think this in the midst of their storm, no matter how fleeting. Dr. Constable said crying out "Why" describes a situation of frustration and forsakedness. My Savior cried out, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" as He hung from the cross in those brief moments as God had to stand far off to accomplish His purposes. By the end of the psalm, David sings that God is King for EVER and EVER, that He hears, He encourages, He listens.
If I can encourage you, please know you are NEVER alone in your storm, even as you cry out "WHY?!"...He hears you, He's your anchor...Hold Fast...If you have a minute, listen to my brother-in-Christ encourage you.
Saturday, January 14, 2017
"Let me see you 1...2...step"
Psalm 9:10, "Those who know Your name will trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You."
I think of struggles with my own prodigal son; with teenage angst, hurt and rebellion of children as well as medical issues; the blending of a family; and loss and remember how God was there. I didn't get to skip the storm, but man did I get to experience the peace that surpasses understanding and deliverance. It helps me trust Him in my present troubles and cling to Him with a desperation and dependence that He deserves. And BOY, do I LOVE to praise Him. I told Ashley and John that if I ever die in a car accident it was because I forgot about where I was and was praising Jesus with the radio...and to not worry because I will have gone out the same way I will enter His presence...praising Him.
David knew God delivered. He trusted He would deliver again. So he had confidence. AND he had no problem singing his praises publicly....even once embarassing his wife as he danced before the Lord (2 Sam. 6:14-15) as they brought the ark of the covenant to the City of David.
There are several images I love in the Bible...the father of the prodigal son, picking up his robes and running to his son; and David dancing before the Lord. Seriously, there is nothing more beautiful than an expression of love that cares not what the world thinks. These men knew from where they came...the father of the prodigal lost the son he loved, letting him go in his sin...waiting for him day after day. David had been saved many times from his own self as well as from his enemies. When you have been in the valley, and God met you there, you appreciate with every ounce of your body God's deliverance. And the rightful response is to praise Him for ALL to hear. There is no shame in that game.
I think of struggles with my own prodigal son; with teenage angst, hurt and rebellion of children as well as medical issues; the blending of a family; and loss and remember how God was there. I didn't get to skip the storm, but man did I get to experience the peace that surpasses understanding and deliverance. It helps me trust Him in my present troubles and cling to Him with a desperation and dependence that He deserves. And BOY, do I LOVE to praise Him. I told Ashley and John that if I ever die in a car accident it was because I forgot about where I was and was praising Jesus with the radio...and to not worry because I will have gone out the same way I will enter His presence...praising Him.
Friday, January 13, 2017
Star light, star bright
Psalm 8, 3-4, "When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?"
Orion is my favorite. I love looking up there. Weird as it may seem (although it must not be too weird, because one friend said she felt the same way), these stars were "confirmation" that I was suppose to have three kids. I also love them because for as many times as we went to the planatarium, this is the ONLY constellation I can pick out all the time. It's also a picture of the Trinity. If you've never been to Colorado (or really ANY place where the light pollution of cities is not existent), to see ALL the stars is AAAHHHHmazing!! We happened to be in Colorado during the height of "shooting stars" one year and went to watch them shoot across the sky...obviously impactful as I still remember it.
Makes me think of two things:
Romans 1:20, "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power an divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." I've never understood standing at the base of a mountain or looking up in the sky how anyone could think randomness created that beauty.
And to think that He knows each by it's name (Psalm 147:4)?! Mind blown. Yet He cares for me??? That is some CRAZY love right there. Getcha some of that!
Orion is my favorite. I love looking up there. Weird as it may seem (although it must not be too weird, because one friend said she felt the same way), these stars were "confirmation" that I was suppose to have three kids. I also love them because for as many times as we went to the planatarium, this is the ONLY constellation I can pick out all the time. It's also a picture of the Trinity. If you've never been to Colorado (or really ANY place where the light pollution of cities is not existent), to see ALL the stars is AAAHHHHmazing!! We happened to be in Colorado during the height of "shooting stars" one year and went to watch them shoot across the sky...obviously impactful as I still remember it.
Makes me think of two things:
Romans 1:20, "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power an divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." I've never understood standing at the base of a mountain or looking up in the sky how anyone could think randomness created that beauty.
And to think that He knows each by it's name (Psalm 147:4)?! Mind blown. Yet He cares for me??? That is some CRAZY love right there. Getcha some of that!
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Smite thee...
Psalm 7: 10-11, "My shield is God Most High, who saves the upright in heart. God is a righteous judge, a God who expresses His wrath every day."
David's confidence is in God's righteous character. Injustice does not escape His eye...even though it sometimes does not happen at the speed we would like-He WILL judge righteously. So, we can leave vengeance up to Him.
This is a tough one. In my personal life as well as in the world venue there are times I'd like the lightening bolt to come from the Heavens and take someone out then and there. It's only a passing thought in my personal life because the worse that anyone has ever done to me, I still don't wish hell on my enemies. It's harder and harder with news and social media to hear the horrors and not wish that on someone who has hurt a child or an animal or hates another for no reason other than they are different. I don't know them and they definitely deserve consequences for their actions.
Here's why it's tough...because sin is a sin is a sin. God doesn't layer them. He is HOLY. That's the standard. GULP. I don't live up to that. So, I best just climb down from the judgement seat I've put myself in charge of and let Him sort out the judgement. In the end, He wants a heart after Him. He knows we are nothing but filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6) and apart from Jesus' perfect sacrifice we all deserve His wrath (Romans 3:23, Isaiah 53:5...). He is HOLY and worthy of honor, praise and trust. He is executing His plan in His timing. I best leave it to Him.
David's confidence is in God's righteous character. Injustice does not escape His eye...even though it sometimes does not happen at the speed we would like-He WILL judge righteously. So, we can leave vengeance up to Him.
This is a tough one. In my personal life as well as in the world venue there are times I'd like the lightening bolt to come from the Heavens and take someone out then and there. It's only a passing thought in my personal life because the worse that anyone has ever done to me, I still don't wish hell on my enemies. It's harder and harder with news and social media to hear the horrors and not wish that on someone who has hurt a child or an animal or hates another for no reason other than they are different. I don't know them and they definitely deserve consequences for their actions.
Here's why it's tough...because sin is a sin is a sin. God doesn't layer them. He is HOLY. That's the standard. GULP. I don't live up to that. So, I best just climb down from the judgement seat I've put myself in charge of and let Him sort out the judgement. In the end, He wants a heart after Him. He knows we are nothing but filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6) and apart from Jesus' perfect sacrifice we all deserve His wrath (Romans 3:23, Isaiah 53:5...). He is HOLY and worthy of honor, praise and trust. He is executing His plan in His timing. I best leave it to Him.
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
Bitter or Better
Psalm 6: 1-3, "O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long?"
Discipline blows. I don't care if you're a petulant toddler, a wily teenager or an adult. No one signs up for discipline because it's going to be fun. Even if you've walked through discipline many times and KNOW that with each time, you've come out of the fire refined...it is NEVER fun while you're in the midst. Perhaps it hurts so much because we know we've grieved God. Man, I remember as a kid being lectured by my dad. There were times when I seriously thought, "Couldya just spank me and it's a one and done rather than enduring the hurt and pain of his disappointment...again?"
Our physical suffering often leads to our spiritual suffering...your soul just HURTS. Wiersbe commented, "...I've learned that sickness and pain either make us better or bitter, and the difference is FAITH." As much as discipline is NO BUENO, it is pretty unavoidable. I know, for me, if I'm going to experience it either because of my poor choices or for my own good, I would rather walk through it with a merciful God who loves me despite all my junk. I choose better!
Discipline blows. I don't care if you're a petulant toddler, a wily teenager or an adult. No one signs up for discipline because it's going to be fun. Even if you've walked through discipline many times and KNOW that with each time, you've come out of the fire refined...it is NEVER fun while you're in the midst. Perhaps it hurts so much because we know we've grieved God. Man, I remember as a kid being lectured by my dad. There were times when I seriously thought, "Couldya just spank me and it's a one and done rather than enduring the hurt and pain of his disappointment...again?"
Our physical suffering often leads to our spiritual suffering...your soul just HURTS. Wiersbe commented, "...I've learned that sickness and pain either make us better or bitter, and the difference is FAITH." As much as discipline is NO BUENO, it is pretty unavoidable. I know, for me, if I'm going to experience it either because of my poor choices or for my own good, I would rather walk through it with a merciful God who loves me despite all my junk. I choose better!
Friday, January 6, 2017
Morning Sunshine!
Psalm 5:3, "In the morning, O Lord, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."
Stream of consciousness: as I sat down to write this, beside being convicted, this Dan Fogelberg oldie but goodie popped into my head. Some of the lyrics:
"And it's going to be a day
There is really no way to say no
To the morning
Yes it's going to be a day
There is really nothing left to
Say but
Come on morning"
I am definitely a morning girl. I cherish being in bed early and the morning is my time. I love watching the sun come up and break through the leaves from my little "cubby spot" where I have my quiet time. It really is a sacred time for me. But I am sorely lacking in my "war room" time...I talk to God all day, but to spend alone time just praying, I was convicted (and envious) by this verse. David's first thing was to pray to God because he sensed his need for God's assistance very keenly (Dr. Constable)...prayer was his first work...in the morning when he was fresh, lively, composed. I know this would be true for me too..."Yes, it's going to be a day". I sure would love to spend that time, when I am fresh...yesterday's worries gone, today's worries have not yet come...to just be...be still, sit at His feet, listen, be held. Doesn't that sound glorious?? "Come on morning"
Thursday, January 5, 2017
Gettin' busy with it
Psalm 4:8, "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."
Worry and fear are pesky little boogers...and some of satan's favorite tools. David, being chased by his own son, was able to lay his head down at night and sleep because he knew God had this. He was waiting for God's timing to handle the situation and laying low, doing his part until the right time.
I remember when my dad was sick. I had so many nights with bouts of insomnia...worried about him, worried about my mom, the uncertainty of what lay ahead, present circumstances at the time that were making me unhappy. It was miserable. I tried to make the best of it and knocked out some great scrapbooking in those awake times, but a tired Kathy is NOT a happy Kathy...I had no peace and prolonged times of no sleep make you physically sick.
BUT, my walk was different then. I was saved, but not walking with the Lord. So when those times came, I relied on myself to get through it until it passed. I still can have those ugh moments during slumber that awaken me...thoughts of current circumstances that are WAY BELOW my desired level of happiness. But my response is different. They wake me up and I get to praying; and in that beautiful time of half-sleep and talking to God, I am lulled into His peace and soon enough sound asleep.
Many times the Bible tells us "Be still..." "Cast your anxieties on me...I will give you rest..." I've heard my pastor say it as well when he has talked about how a pastor is able to sleep at night. When we are being still, God's getting busy with it...doin' His thang. Ha! Maybe that's why I love sleeping so much now :) I'm letting God get busy (He certainly has His work cut out in just the mess of me!).
Worry and fear are pesky little boogers...and some of satan's favorite tools. David, being chased by his own son, was able to lay his head down at night and sleep because he knew God had this. He was waiting for God's timing to handle the situation and laying low, doing his part until the right time.
I remember when my dad was sick. I had so many nights with bouts of insomnia...worried about him, worried about my mom, the uncertainty of what lay ahead, present circumstances at the time that were making me unhappy. It was miserable. I tried to make the best of it and knocked out some great scrapbooking in those awake times, but a tired Kathy is NOT a happy Kathy...I had no peace and prolonged times of no sleep make you physically sick.
BUT, my walk was different then. I was saved, but not walking with the Lord. So when those times came, I relied on myself to get through it until it passed. I still can have those ugh moments during slumber that awaken me...thoughts of current circumstances that are WAY BELOW my desired level of happiness. But my response is different. They wake me up and I get to praying; and in that beautiful time of half-sleep and talking to God, I am lulled into His peace and soon enough sound asleep.
Many times the Bible tells us "Be still..." "Cast your anxieties on me...I will give you rest..." I've heard my pastor say it as well when he has talked about how a pastor is able to sleep at night. When we are being still, God's getting busy with it...doin' His thang. Ha! Maybe that's why I love sleeping so much now :) I'm letting God get busy (He certainly has His work cut out in just the mess of me!).
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
Lift up my head
Psalm 3:3, "But you are a shield around me, O Lord; You bestow glory on me and lift up my head."
David believed God had not abandoned him although many of his constituents at the time did. He regarded God as his real source of protection, his shield. Dr. Constable teaches that "glory" reflects the honor of serving the eternal God and "lift the head" means to restore dignity and position. David believed God would restore him to his throne even though the present circumstances had David on the run from his own son.
I just love David...one of my absolute favorite people in the Bible. He's real...he's a mess and messes up; but he loves the Lord and clings to Him...in anger, in fear, on the run...he holds on to God's promises and cries out to Him what He feels in his heart.
Not me so often. I tried to hide that angst I may be feeling...or just hide. You would think that sand would pour out my ears every time I was upright as much as I bury my head in it when hard times come to pretend I have it all together or that all is well ("lalalalala, I can't hear you.")
I'm a work in progress. I LOVE getting older. Wisdom is SO much cooler than youth. Through the trials, I have learned, like David, that God has NEVER abandoned me. I didn't get the answers I always wanted. I'm still waiting for some answers, but He has never left me. He has held me up and in place when running just seemed like such an easier answer. When I reflect on all we've been through, I cannot help but want to share how wonderful God is. He bestows His glory and the glory of knowing and saying I am His and want my life to be about Him. The cool thing about Him "lifting my head" is that, in wisdom, I realize that dignity does not lie in having it all together, but being completely dependent; and the best position is sometimes face down on the floor when looking up is all you've got.
David believed God had not abandoned him although many of his constituents at the time did. He regarded God as his real source of protection, his shield. Dr. Constable teaches that "glory" reflects the honor of serving the eternal God and "lift the head" means to restore dignity and position. David believed God would restore him to his throne even though the present circumstances had David on the run from his own son.
I just love David...one of my absolute favorite people in the Bible. He's real...he's a mess and messes up; but he loves the Lord and clings to Him...in anger, in fear, on the run...he holds on to God's promises and cries out to Him what He feels in his heart.
Not me so often. I tried to hide that angst I may be feeling...or just hide. You would think that sand would pour out my ears every time I was upright as much as I bury my head in it when hard times come to pretend I have it all together or that all is well ("lalalalala, I can't hear you.")
I'm a work in progress. I LOVE getting older. Wisdom is SO much cooler than youth. Through the trials, I have learned, like David, that God has NEVER abandoned me. I didn't get the answers I always wanted. I'm still waiting for some answers, but He has never left me. He has held me up and in place when running just seemed like such an easier answer. When I reflect on all we've been through, I cannot help but want to share how wonderful God is. He bestows His glory and the glory of knowing and saying I am His and want my life to be about Him. The cool thing about Him "lifting my head" is that, in wisdom, I realize that dignity does not lie in having it all together, but being completely dependent; and the best position is sometimes face down on the floor when looking up is all you've got.
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Who's Your Daddy?
Psalm 2:6, "I have installed my King on Zion, my holy hill."
2016 has gotten a bad rap. And for some of it, I get it. The elections...oh brother! What a mess of hatred and ugliness the likes of which I've not remembered. What a polarizing event. Choosing between dumb and dumberer...both equally dirty in their own rights. And both totally human...full of err, dirty rags...just like me. But, turn it around...2016 was the year God showed He is still in charge. Some pretty horrible things happened. In particular, July 7 changed my life when Dallas PD was gunned down in a horrid act of hatred. I thought the world would spin out of control and mass chaos would evolve. But God brought out people, especially here in Dallas, who showed expressions of love also like I've never seen.
I don't care who you voted for. I will not share who I voted for. But, I know who's in charge. He doesn't reside in a building on this earth. But He does tell me I am to honor who He has put in charge and to TRUST HIM (big HIM, not little him). He's bigger, better, stronger. One Day, in the new Jerusalem (Zion), He will install a King whose rule is perfect. He is waiting...for us to be obedient in our trust. HE is my Daddy!
2016 has gotten a bad rap. And for some of it, I get it. The elections...oh brother! What a mess of hatred and ugliness the likes of which I've not remembered. What a polarizing event. Choosing between dumb and dumberer...both equally dirty in their own rights. And both totally human...full of err, dirty rags...just like me. But, turn it around...2016 was the year God showed He is still in charge. Some pretty horrible things happened. In particular, July 7 changed my life when Dallas PD was gunned down in a horrid act of hatred. I thought the world would spin out of control and mass chaos would evolve. But God brought out people, especially here in Dallas, who showed expressions of love also like I've never seen.
I don't care who you voted for. I will not share who I voted for. But, I know who's in charge. He doesn't reside in a building on this earth. But He does tell me I am to honor who He has put in charge and to TRUST HIM (big HIM, not little him). He's bigger, better, stronger. One Day, in the new Jerusalem (Zion), He will install a King whose rule is perfect. He is waiting...for us to be obedient in our trust. HE is my Daddy!
Monday, January 2, 2017
Neon Lights
Psalm 1:3 "He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers." (v.3)
"Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb 2 down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations" (Revelation 22:1-2)
How crazy is it that I just read this yesterday and today it comes again?!
The tree gets its nourishment from the water which make its leaves beautiful. But the leaves also play a part in the health and growth of the fruit that they bear. If the leaves are not healthy, the fruit will not be healthy. If the fruit is not healthy, other people will not be drawn to it and nourished from taking its fruit from the tree. If I am not plugged in to God's Living Water to nourish me, I will not produce healthy leaves that others might see and admire so that they, in turn, would want to take the fruit and be nourished as well.
You know that neon sign you sometimes ask God for? Please, Lord, help me yield to it. Help me be a tree planted by the water of Your Word so that I am nourished by You.
"Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb 2 down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations" (Revelation 22:1-2)
How crazy is it that I just read this yesterday and today it comes again?!
The tree gets its nourishment from the water which make its leaves beautiful. But the leaves also play a part in the health and growth of the fruit that they bear. If the leaves are not healthy, the fruit will not be healthy. If the fruit is not healthy, other people will not be drawn to it and nourished from taking its fruit from the tree. If I am not plugged in to God's Living Water to nourish me, I will not produce healthy leaves that others might see and admire so that they, in turn, would want to take the fruit and be nourished as well.
You know that neon sign you sometimes ask God for? Please, Lord, help me yield to it. Help me be a tree planted by the water of Your Word so that I am nourished by You.
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