2010-2014 were some of the worst years of my life...to date. There has been much that has been said about our plans for our life versus God's and our timing verses His own (wordly and biblically). We're all in a valley, just got out of one, or about to hit one. It's just life. In these years: I had a son wrestling with drugs (marijuana his drug of choice), a daughter dabbling in drinking; a daughter who was diagnosed with Mosaiac Turner's Syndrome, and my marriage and blended family was a MESS (at one point looking like I might be a single parent again) from all of the above. To ice this nastiness, I dealt with shame from a divorce and the loss of a loved person in my life. This period of time was "THE WORST". I literally sat in my car screaming at God that I could take no more. I contacted my doctor about getting on anti-depressants because I could not deal. Let me tell you about God's timing here...He, in His abundant wisdom, made going to the doctor unavailable until a couple months later (I could not take off any time to go see the doctor, because I was using short term disability to take my daughter to In Patient Treatment during work hours). In those two months, He was amazing...repeatedly showing up when I was barely hanging on, showing me that HE was all I needed. He might have stood "far off" because He was waiting for me to turn to Him. Want crazy?! I wouldn't trade a single moment of any of that if it meant I had to give up God or turn away. So, I buckle up...knowing a storm will come my way...bring it on, satan, cause I am here to tell you I will HOLD FAST...your tricks have failed from the get go, and tiny, little man...they FAIL (epically) in the end (John 16:33...hello life verse).
My boy, David...a man after God's heart and a heart like my own. He loved God so much, he took his mess to him and cried out "WHY?!" I'd be inclined to think one a liar who didn't at least think this in the midst of their storm, no matter how fleeting. Dr. Constable said crying out "Why" describes a situation of frustration and forsakedness. My Savior cried out, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" as He hung from the cross in those brief moments as God had to stand far off to accomplish His purposes. By the end of the psalm, David sings that God is King for EVER and EVER, that He hears, He encourages, He listens.
If I can encourage you, please know you are NEVER alone in your storm, even as you cry out "WHY?!"...He hears you, He's your anchor...Hold Fast...If you have a minute, listen to my brother-in-Christ encourage you.
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